Deciding to divorce is intensely personal. Then you can have those conversations. Your marriage, despite all the hard work you did together or separately, is over.
If there is any chance that your spouse will become physically violent, make sure your conversation takes place in a public place. Unless telling your spouse you want a divorce will put you or your kids in danger, you need to have that conversation with your spouse — in person. Do not plan on telling your spouse you want a divorce ten minutes before you or your husband or wife has to leave to go to work. Then go home and work out the details. If there is no chance that you will reconcile, say so. You need to remember that, and to be a parent. These questions cover some of the basic concerns people have about divorce These questions cover some of the basic concerns people have about divorce How do I tell my spouse that I want a divorce? Parting in as loving and respectful a way as possible goes far toward making that transition happen. If possible, give your spouse an opportunity to turn the situation around. Let it come and let it go. If your spouse tries to pick a fight, or responds to you angrily, do not allow yourself to join the fight or react in anger. Your best chance of avoiding a divorce is to create an environment where the other person feels so loved and appreciated that he or she would never want to leave. The way you tell your spouse that you want a divorce matters. Feel the hurt of your circumstances and the deeper hurt of feeling worthless, not good enough, not worth loving, or whatever your issue is. You can expect to have disagreements. The next step is to notice that the other person is doing the very best that person can with his or her very limited ability. Be Prepared for a Bad Reaction. You may have been thinking about divorce for months or years! When you use an adversarial attorney, you can expect conflict and suffering. Inflicting pain on your spouse causes you pain, too. A gladiator attorney can create lots of suffering and is seldom necessary. Let the person go and don't fight to prevent the divorce. Beating around the bush about wanting a divorce will not make the conversation any easier, nor it will it make the news you are about to deliver any less painful. Tell him that you want him to answer questions openly and honestly, no matter who asks the question. Once you have worked out all the details, go back to the attorney and have him do the paperwork. The process is very slow and everyone gets hurt. If you want more peace of mind, or if you have any doubts, visit another attorney.
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